• Quotes

  Where love rules, there is no will to power, and where power predominates, love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.

  CARL JUNG, On the Psychology

  of the Unconsciousness

  "Relationships have an inherent power dynamic, but also the opportunity for creating and experiencing multiple other empowering realities."

  The online counselor at www.relationship-counseling.net

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This is a website about love and marriage with inputs from both Psychology and Sociology. Rather than just giving tips and relationship help on married life, this website also aims to inform people on marriage counseling. Relationship help on issues like relationship trust) with relationship counseling and love advice. (love marriage advice - married life)

USA Statistics

"Here's a sampling of some of the most recently available statistics on marriage and divorce in the United States of America:

• There were approximately 2,230,000 marriages in 2005 -- down from 2,279,000 the previous year, despite a total population increase of 2.9 million over the same period.
• The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6 -- the lowest rate since 1970, and down from 4.2 in 2000 and from 4.7 in 1990. (The peak was at 5.3 in 1981, according to the Associated Press.)
• The marriage rate in 2005 (per 1,000) was 7.5, down from 7.8 the previous year".

From www.divorcemag.com

UK Statistics from National Statistics:

"In 2006, there were 275,140 weddings in the UK, a fall of 4 per cent since 2005. Marriages in England and Wales fell by 4 per cent in 2006 to 236,980, which is the lowest number of marriages since 1895. In Scotland, marriages dropped 3 per cent to 29,898, whilst in Northern Ireland marriages increased 1 per cent to 8,259. The long-term picture for UK weddings is one of decline from a peak of 480,285 marriages in 1972."

The counselor was recently asked the following questions from a South African;

Is marriage outdated?

This is usually a sided topic for feminist and other socio-political and religious writers. Let us look at the next question's statistics.

Are people still getting married?

More people still get married in South Africa. Statistics from stats show that the number of registered marriages has generally been increasing over the last ten years (146 729 marriages in 1997, 184 860 marriages in 2006). This is an increase of twenty six percent in marriages (http://www.statssa.gov.za). I can only assume that new statistics will be available by December 2008

Look for divoce support break up and relationship help under help, advice or relationship counseling on the top of the page (married life).

What are the current statistics of divorce in South Africa?

The statistics has been fluctuating between 37 098 and 31 270 per annum in the past decade (1997-2006). "Despite the general fluctuations, the proportions of divorces from the mixed and the African groups have been increasing whilst that of the white group has been declining in the past ten years" (http://www.statssa.gov.za).

Why is the rate of divorce so high?

The most common reasons seem to be financial difficulties, drug and alcohol abuse, physical abuse and unemployment. Other persons working at the Family and Marriage Society of South Africa attribute infidelity and lack of communication as a big factor in some articles that I have. Then there are also couples that rush into marriage blindly.

Divoce support, Break up and relationship help can be found under marriage counseling or help (relationship trust).

Where do couples go wrong the most in marriages?

Couples in divorce and counselling often report that they are "drifting apart."

Answers here would be; informed expectations about marriage and changes, not to take each other for granted, effective communication, shared interests, developing your own self worth outside of marriage and keeping yourself interesting (new friends, to learn new skills, to go for counselling).

What should a couple who wants to get married do before they get
married?

Proper pre-marriage counseling or education (skills training) is most advisable here.

What is premarital counseling?

You can get premarital counselling from your religious adviser. Non-religious professional counsellors also provide premarital counseling. By taking the time to explore the reasons you came together, differences, similarities, hopes and dreams, as well as expectations of one another, it is sometimes possible to avoid the difficulties and disappointments that many couples face. Pre-marital counseling offers the space to explore your differences in a constructive, safe and supportive environment.

How does it help couples to have a better marriage?

Most couples find that pre-marital counselling helps to prepare them for the kind of life they would like to build together.

What makes a good marriage good (love marriage)?

Everyone reading this should rather try to answer this question in his or her unique way and own experience. The word "good" is replaceable by what the reader prefer (successful, working, lovingetc.).

Here are some suggested tips for marriage from literature:

Get your plans / deal straight (talk deeply before the wedding about your expectations of each other). Keep your individuality. Hold each other centre stage (be interested in your partner's opinions). Learn to resolve conflicts (keep communicating, whatever the bad feeling). Keep the passion alive (create time and space for it). Grow with each other (know that one or both partners will shift in personality at these times). Keep working at it and do not rest on your laurels.

Divoce support, break up and relationship help can be found under marriage counseling or help. Relationship Trust - Love Advice -Marriage Advice